


Everyone has secrets

by cak



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Gifted Omega, M/M, Omegaverse, Secret Alpha Merlin, Secret Omega Arthur, Secrets Reveal, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-14
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-26 13:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/966403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cak/pseuds/cak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Merlin saves Arthur's life, the last thing he expected was to be 'gifted' to Prince Arthur. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted. He was hiding two big secrets that could bring his new life in Camelot crashing down. </p><p>However, Merlin is not the only one with a secret and Arthur has a decision to make. What his father wants, or what he wants. For Camelot or for himself...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inheritanceofgeek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inheritanceofgeek/gifts).



> Thank you to the lovely Anna for prompting this! I have no idea how long it'll be in the end, or when I'll update, but I will as soon as I can!
> 
> I have no beta, so any mistakes are mine. Drop me a line if you notice anything! 
> 
> There's currently no rating, but please be aware that it might get a rating depending on where the fic goes.
> 
> Anyway, formalities done! I hope you enjoy it!

“You shall be Prince Arthur’s Omega!” 

Merlin’s heart sank as he heard those words. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be anyone’s Omega, let alone the Prince of Camelot’s! Merlin turned away from Arthur and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the sounds of the court applauding. It was all wrong. He hadn’t saved the Prince’s live so that he could be rewarded. Especially not like this. A simple pat on the back would have done and he could get back to Gaius and start helping from the side lines like he’d intended to all along. His destiny said nothing about bonding. Not that he could, and that was the bit that scared Merlin the most. There was a chance that someone would find out his secret. That someone being the Prince, who Merlin had already established, wasn’t a quiet man. 

Once all of the fuss was over, Merlin went back to Gaius chambers, ready to pack his bags and head back to Ealdor. He slammed the door open and headed straight for his room, ignoring everything around him. He’d not even been in Camelot 24 hours, and still, everything had gone wrong. Maybe it wasn’t his destiny to look after Prince Arthur. He hoped it had all been a mistake. Throwing his belongings back in to his bag, Merlin turned around to leave only to be confronted with Gaius. 

“Going somewhere?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Yes. Home.” Merlin replied, trying to walk around the physician, who wouldn’t let him pass.

“So soon?”

“Don’t look at me like that.” Merlin sighed. “I can’t be the Prince’s Omega. It’s just not going to work. Camelot isn’t my home. I was wrong to come here.”

Gaius frowned, but didn’t move out of Merlin’s way. “Perhaps it won’t be as bad as you think.”

“Oh, trust me, it will.” Merlin replied. “So, let me pass.”

“No. Merlin, just try.” 

Merlin sighed and dropped his bag. 

“I promise you, Gaius, it won’t end well.”

Gaius frowned and left Merlin in his room.

The problem, as Merlin saw it, was that someone was bound to find out. Not only was he hiding that he had magic, he was hiding that he was an Alpha. What made it worse was that he was hiding it with magic. If someone found out about one, they were bound to find out about the other. He sat on the edge of his small, hard bed and sighed. He had hoped that going to Camelot would be a new start for him. A new life. Hunith was so proud of him and he could still see the look on her face as he left to start his new life. He got to keep his secrets and people wouldn’t pry. Home was great. He loved home, but people knew. They knew about the magic, and far too many people knew that he was an Alpha. He wasn’t ashamed. He just wanted to be someone new sometimes. He remembered when he presented, Hunith was so pleased that he had, and cared much less about what he had presented as. He wished he could feel like that sometimes. That’s where the magic came in. His personality and his body screamed Omega, so it wasn’t a stretch for people to believe that he was one. The only downside to the spell was that he couldn’t really pick up scents any more. Not that Merlin saw it as much of a problem. In fact, he had bigger problems. Prince Arthur, mainly. Sighing again, Merlin swung his legs up on to the bed and settled down, crossing his arms around his chest, trying to work out a solution to his colossal problem. 

~~~~~~~

Merlin woke with a jolt as someone banged on his door. Falling asleep was the opposite of what he had wanted to do. Frowning, he got up and opened the door to find Gaius about to knock again. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, running his hand through his hair. 

“Prince Arthur wishes to see you. He says it’s urgent.” Merlin felt his heart sink for the second time that day. Facing the Prince wasn’t high on his list of things that he wanted to do. Rubbing his eyes, he took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Right. Where is he?”

“Waiting in his chambers.” 

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. “Okay.” He said, opening them after a few moments. “I’d best see what he wants.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> Just the same as before, I have no beta, so any mistakes are mine, but feel free to let me know if you spot anything. 
> 
> Sorry it took me so long to update this. Juggling writing with a full time job and a million other commitments is a lot harder than I thought it would it be!
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> C x

Practically every male in Arthur’s family was an Alpha. It almost came with the territory, being royal and all. So, when Arthur presented as an Omega, he couldn’t bring himself to tell his father. In fact, there was only one person he could trust with his secret. Gaius. 

Gaius, of course, had known exactly what could help the young prince, although he was reluctant to help at first, but Arthur had won him around. Despite his reservations, every two weeks, Gaius prepared a tonic which acted as a suppressant, meaning that Arthur could pretend to be an Alpha without worrying about his heats and his reaction to Alphas. 

Arthur felt his blood run cold when he realised that he had been gifted an Omega. It was all well and good pretending to his family and the whole of Camelot. He wasn’t intimate with them. What was he going to do when his Omega went in to heat and he had no natural instincts? How was he supposed to explain his lack of a knot? The thought made him feel sick and it took him a moment to realise that he was swaying slightly, lost in his thoughts. He took a steadying breath and gave the court the reaction that they wanted and he thanked his father, bowing a little. Putting on a brave face, Arthur spoke to various members of the courts and most of his closest Knights before making his excuses and leaving. He went to his room, closing the door firmly behind him. “I can’t believe this.” He murmured to himself, starting to pace the room. “I absolutely can’t believe this.” After a few minutes of trying to clear his mind, Arthur came to a decision. As much as he hated it, he knew what he had to do.

Looking out of the door, he caught the attention of a servant. “Go and get Merlin from his chambers. Tell him that I need to see him urgently.” Arthur shut the door and looked around his chambers again, thinking over his decision. He had to tell Merlin the truth. As long as he made sure that he’d never spill his secret to anyone else, of course. He could easily make sure that Merlin kept his mouth shut. He’d done it to other people in the past, he could do it to Merlin. No one could find out. Arthur didn’t even want to think about the consequences of his lies. Especially if his father found out. He didn’t doubt that both his own life and Gaius’ would be in danger, if not half of Camelot. 

After a several minutes of pacing, Arthur heard a knock on his door. As he turned around, the door opened and a bleary eyed Merlin stood before him. Arthur swallowed nervously as he took in the appearance of the man in front of him, thanking every deity that at least he was attractive. Clearing his throat, Arthur straightened his back slightly and caught Merlin’s eye. 

“So… We are to be bonded…” He started. Merlin just nodded. 

“I… Well, there’s some things you should know about me.” Arthur finished, turning on his heel and moving across the room to sit at the table. “Sit.” Merlin followed and sat in a chair at the opposite end of the table. 

“Thank you, Sire.” He murmured. 

Arthur thought for a moment. Could he really tell Merlin? Of course he could stop Merlin from spreading it around Camelot, but how was he supposed to explain to his father that it hadn’t worked out? Uther was expecting Grandchildren.

“Right. You’re aware of my commitments?” He asked, taking the safer approach. 

“Yes.” Merlin replied. 

“Okay. And you know that when we bond, I won’t always be here for your heats?” Shifting a little in his seat, Merlin nodded. “I’ll get back as soon as I can, but sometimes I have to travel far and it’ll be days before I can get back.”

“Also, we’ll have to work out some ground rules soon. We both have to spend some time thinking about the future.” Arthur took a steadying breath and got to his feet, walking to his bedside and opening a drawer. He pulled out a small velvet bag and walked to Merlin, placing it in front of him. 

“Here. This has been in my family for several generations and after my Mother died, it was given to me to give to my Omega.” He swallowed hard and returned to his own seat. Merlin opened the bag and tipped the contents in to his hand. It was a thin gold band, engraved with an ivy pattern. 

Looking up and meeting Arthur’s eye, Merlin shook his head. “Thank you, Sire… But I can’t take this. It’s too much…” 

“You have to have it, Merlin.”

“We’re not even bonded!” He countered. 

“You’ll get another one when we do bond.” Arthur replied, sounding much calmer than he was feeling. 

Merlin looked at the ring again. “Do I have a choice?” He sighed. 

“No.” 

Nodding, Merlin held his hand out, the ring in his palm. “Then I suppose you should put it on my finger.” Merlin said quietly. 

Arthur took the ring and slid it on to the third finger on Merlin’s right hand, feeling incredibly guilty that he couldn’t bring himself to tell the other man the truth. 

'I'll do it another day.' He thought to himself, not entirely sure that he would stick to his word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my characterisation is off! Sorry!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter up - it just didn't want to be written! It's actually gone a whole different way than I had planned, but there we are!
> 
> I really hope you all like it! But, as usual, no beta, so if you spot anything, let me know :) 
> 
> C x

Over the next three weeks, Arthur tries to avoid Merlin, although that was easier said than done considering he was now living in the palace. Uther had also decided that in order for Merlin and Arthur to get to know each other, Merlin would work alongside Arthur, as his servant. 

Days after Uther had announced this, Arthur was in Gaius chambers, slumped in a chair, glad that Merlin was out somewhere – probably the tavern. He looked up at Gaius and shook his head. 

“I don’t know what to do, Gaius. I don’t know how this is going to work."

“Sire, I think this shall be easier than you think, if you allow yourself to try.”

Arthur snorted and shook his head again.

“How can I? This is ridiculous. He’s going to find out in a matter of days. How can I keep it from him?”

“We’ll simply tell him that the tonic is something else. To help an old injury, for example. He doesn’t have to know, and he shouldn’t question it. Don’t forget, Sire, that everyone has their own secrets and I’m sure he does too.”

“Not like this.” He sighed, leaning back in his chair. “I don’t want to let my father down, but I don’t want to be in this situation. I can’t lie to Merlin too, especially not when he asks why I can’t breed him.”

Gaius cleared his throat and made himself busy. “I believe these are questions that you need to seriously think about. I don’t have the answer for you.”

“I know.” Arthur grumbled. “I just… This is difficult. It’d be so much easier if I could just push him away and get on with my life.”

“That’s not an option, sire.” He replied, turning to face Arthur. “Your father has an expectation of you, and you said yourself that you don’t want to disappoint him.”

Arthur got to his feet and ran his hand through his hair. “Yes. Of course. Thank you, Gaius.” He murmured, walking to the door. Before he had a chance to get there, and before Gaius had the chance to reply, the door swung open and Merlin walked through humming a frankly awful tune. He looked up and stopped.

“Oh. Hello, Sire.” He murmured, shrugging his bag off his back. 

“Merlin.” Arthur nodded, frowning after a minute, his eyes on Merlin’s hand. “Where’s your ring?” He asked quietly, stepping towards Merlin.

“I… I didn’t want to get it dirty…” He lied.

“It can be cleaned. You can’t be walking around the castle without your ring on, Merlin. You know that.”

Merlin swallowed thickly, glancing to Gaius who was pretending not to be listening. He sighed and lowered his head.

“I don’t like wearing it.” He admitted. “I don’t belong to you. Not yet, at least. I’m not anyone’s Omega.” Merlin shrugged.

“Right.” Arthur nodded. “That doesn’t mean anything, Merlin. You have to wear that ring. If my father sees you walking around without your ring, he won’t be happy, and really, Merlin, it’s easier for all of us if he is happy.”

Arthur laid a hand on Merlin’s shoulder before walking out of Gaius chambers. 

~~~~~~~

Merlin put the ring back on, regardless of his thoughts about the whole situation. For several months, nothing really changed. Merlin got to know Arthur better, and got to see that there was more to him than a royal prat. Even if he was a prat.

There were occasional thoughts about it working. About them finding a way to be together. Merlin could do it. He could stand being Arthur’s manservant, so he could certainly manage to be his partner. He might even enjoy it. There was just that massive secret hanging over him. He could always pretend, but, there’d be questions asked and Merlin wouldn’t be able to answer them.  

He sighed and carried water to Arthur’s bath, checking he was alone before heating the water up with his magic. Just as he finished, Arthur slammed the door open, making Merlin jump.

“Merlin, pack me a bag, I have to travel to St Albans.” Arthur said, walking to his table.

“Right. Yes.” He nodded, turning to face Arthur. “Why are you going to St Albans?”

“My father has fallen ill and I have to go to him.” He said, collecting up some papers. “I’ll be in the Great Hall when you’re done.” Arthur added before sweeping out of the room. 

Merlin set about packing Arthur’s bag for him, running across the castle to make sure he had everything that he would need for the trip.  Once everything was done and it was all loaded on to the horses, Merlin made his way to the Great Hall.

He pushed the door open, knowing that it wouldn’t be a full council, just some of the knights. He shut the door behind him and stood by it, waiting for Arthur.

“Merlin, is everything done?” Arthur asked a few minutes later.

“Yes, Sire. Everything is packed and on the horses, waiting for you. I just have to prepare you for the journey.” He said with a small nod, twisting the ring on his finger.

“Good.” He nodded, before turning back to the knights and sending them away. “Merlin, come here.”

Merlin shuffled past the knights as they were leaving and to Arthur.

Taking a breath, Arthur took Merlin’s hand, smiling a little as his fingers brushed the ring.

“Merlin… This journey… I don’t know when I’ll be back.” He murmured. “Keep things going for me here and I’ll come back to you just as soon as I can.”

Merlin frowned and looked at Arthur before shaking his head. “Arthur… I’m coming with you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all like this chapter! I'm slowly getting faster, although this chapter didn't want to be written, and then it didn't want to stop!
> 
> I hope some of your questions and hopes for Arthur and Merlin will be answered in the next chapter!
> 
> As usual, I have no beta and all mistakes are my own. Drop me a message if you see something I've missed!
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> C x

Within a few hours, they were in the forests, in the middle of nowhere, on the way to St Albans to see Uther. Merlin’s personal feelings couldn’t cloud his tasks. He had to keep Arthur safe.

They had decided to set up camp in a small clearing for the night as the daylight started waning. Merlin had told Arthur to sit as he made a small fire, this time without magic, and laid out their beds. He fed the horses before setting to making their dinner.

“Merlin…” Arthur said, crossing his arms across his chest. “Will you please hurry up? I’m wasting away to nothing here, and you’re just prodding the stew like it’ll help!”

“Hmm? Sorry.” Merlin turned and forced a smile for Arthur. “Got lost in my thoughts. It won’t happen again, Sire.”

“You don’t have to call me Sire when it’s just the two of us.” Arthur replied. “Especially not if we’re to be bonded. I hear it enough as it is.”

Merlin nodded and got back to the stew, pulling two bowls out of a bag and serving it up for Arthur and himself. He carried the bowls to Arthur, handing him one before sitting beside him.

“Do you really want to bond with me?” Merlin asked quietly, the question having played heavily on his mind for most of the ride.

“Of course I do.” Arthur confirmed. “It’s what my father wants.”

“But not what you want.” Merlin sighed.

“I didn’t say that.” He replied, stirring the stew in his bowl. “I just… We don’t even really know each other. Not well enough to be thinking about bonding, at least.”

Merlin stayed silent, but nodded, his eyes glazing over as he drifted in to his thoughts.

Arthur ate in silence, unsure of what to say to Merlin. He wasn’t really sure what he wanted to hear and he knew his words would probably disappoint Merlin anyway.

After a while, Merlin shook himself out of his thoughts, offering Arthur a small smile. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Arthur nodded. “Are you going to tell me what you were thinking about, or…?”

Merlin shook his head. “Probably for the best that I don’t.” He replied, starting to eat his now tepid stew.

“No, come on, Merlin.” Arthur pressed. “Tell me what’s going on. We’re supposed to be getting closer, getting to know one another. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Merlin pushed a chunk of leek from the middle of his bowl with his spoon and let out a breath. “I’ve just been thinking about the bond, that’s all.” He murmured.

Arthur frowned, setting his bowl aside. “Do you not want to go through with it?” Arthur asked quietly. “It’s okay if you don’t. I’ll just have to tell my father that you’ve changed your mind.”

“I’m just not sure it’s a good idea.” Too many secrets. Too much to lose. Merlin turned to look at Arthur and shook his head. “I need to think about it.”

“That’s understandable.” Arthur replied. “Would you like me to give you some space?”

Merlin shook his head. “No. I’d actually like you to stay, if that’s okay? I can think about this in my own time.”

Arthur nodded and lifted his arms above his head, stretching out. “You know, my last servant wasn’t as nearly entertaining as you.” He smiled, glancing at Merlin.

“Oh, yeah?” Merlin asked, managing a small smile.

~~~~~~~

The rest of the journey to St Albans passed without much drama. Merlin spent most of the days riding lost in his thoughts and Arthur spent most of it teasing Merlin, trying to make him smile.

There was something that Arthur couldn’t quite work out about Merlin. Something about him that he’d never seen before. It made him want to know more. Want to find out exactly what that thing was that made him so intriguing. These thoughts continued to run through his mind as they rode towards St Albans, although part of him was on high alert, knowing that the war wasn’t completely over and there would still be people who wanted the Pendragon’s dead, lurking in forests. The last thing he needed was for them to get injured without his knights there to help.

Arthur jumped down off his horse when they reached St Albans, handing the reins over to one of his father’s men. Merlin did the same, although he hung back a little from Arthur, wanting to give him some space as they entered the tent in which Uther was being looked after.

Uther blinked up at his son as he approached the make-shift bed that he was on. He lifted a shaking, pale hand, trying to smile. “Arthur.” He breathed, blinking a few more times. “What are you doing here?” He asked, his eyes fixed on his son.

“I had to come, father.” Arthur murmured. “I had to see you.”

“You brought Merlin.” He replied, his eyes sliding to Merlin, who was standing by the door.

“I did.” He nodded, turning to face Merlin with a small smile. “I couldn’t leave him behind, could I?”

“I suppose not.” Uther looked back to Arthur with a small nod.

The whole tent fell silent as Uther’s eyes roamed over his son’s face.

“You have to take Camelot under your wing, now.” He said, after minutes of tense silence. “The lands need you to be strong.”

Arthur said nothing, just shaking his head.

“You and Merlin will rule the lands together. You need each other to be successful. Make me proud, Arthur. Live a long life and make sure you have an heir. We might not always agree, but you’re my son and you’re the best son I could have wished for.”

“Father, stop talking as if you’re going to die.”

“Arthur, we both know I am. This… Poisoning.” He shook his head, resting back on the blankets. “The Germans poisoned the water. They… They meant to kill. I know I am dying.” Uther smiled sadly at his son. “I’ll be with your mother.”

Shaking his head, Arthur looked to Merlin, who mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry.’ Arthur took a breath and turned back to his father, whose eyes had slipped shut, his chest rising and falling at what Arthur thought was the slowest rate possible.

He took his father’s hand in his own, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles as Uther took his last, laboured breaths, the movements of his chest ceasing.

Arthur laid his father’s hand over his now still chest before bowing in front of him. He turned to Merlin, who was just rising from his own bow.

“Sire, I’m sorry for your loss.” Merlin said quietly, being respectful of the late King.

Arthur walked to him, taking his hand. “Merlin, I’m going to need you now more than ever.” He murmured, looking up to meet his eye. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm so sorry that this has taken almost 3 months to post! It spent a long time not wanting to be written. 
> 
> If you spot any mistakes, let me know so I can correct them. 
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> C x

Merlin looked Arthur in the eye, seeing all the sadness and heartbreak behind them. Taking a breath, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Arthur, pulling his head down on to his shoulder. “Would you like to take a break before we head back to Camelot?” He asked softly, rubbing Arthur’s back.

Arthur, who had happily fallen into Merlin’s embrace, shook his head. “No. I have things to prepare.” He replied quietly. “I need to start thinking about getting his body back to Camelot. There’s a lot to organise, I mustn’t take a break.”

“If you’re sure, Sire.” Merlin mumbled, deciding it was for the best to push the matter no further. “Then I suggest we start to get ready to ride back. I know you might not be ready, but Camelot needs to be informed. There is much to do there, too.”

“Will you prepare the horses? I’m going to stay here for a moment. I won’t have a chance to be alone with him once he reaches Camelot.”

Merlin nodded, still holding Arthur close. “Of course. I’ll have everything ready in twenty minutes if that’s enough time for you.”

“Plenty, thank you.” Arthur gently pulled away from Merlin’s embrace, clearing his throat as he straightened himself.

Merlin nodded before turning and leaving the tent, letting out a shaky breath as his mind whirred.

~~~~~~~

As promised, twenty minutes later, Merlin was outside of the tent again, calling softly for Arthur, who emerged seconds later, his eyes slightly red and puffy.

“Are you ready to leave, Arthur? I’ve arranged for the King’s body to be returned to Camelot later today.”

Arthur nodded. “That’s good. Thank you.” He nodded again, his whole body feeling numb as he walked past Merlin and towards the horses. Merlin followed, holding the horse as Arthur mounted it. Once Merlin was on his horse, they started to make slow progress from St Albans back to Camelot.

Night started to fall as they were riding through the forests. Merlin stopped them and dismounted, having found a good camping place. He watched as Arthur jumped off his horse before setting about making the area habitable for the night. A while later, he handed Arthur a bowl of hot stew and a spoon.

“I’m not hungry, Merlin.” He muttered, putting the bowl on the ground.

“You have to eat. We have another day of riding tomorrow, and if you don’t, you’ll fall off your horse. I know it’s not ideal, but Arthur, eat.”

Arthur huffed and spooned a small amount of the stew into his mouth, watching as Merlin sat beside him.

“I think we’ll make good progress back to Camelot tomorrow, if we keep going. The sooner we’re back, the sooner things will start to settle down.” Merlin said as he ate. “And you can organise your father’s funeral. I can help with that, too, so you don’t have to do as much work.”

Arthur just nodded. “Morgana will want an input.” He replied, spooning more stew into his mouth. “Although, I think it’ll just be traditional. A King’s funeral.”

“We don’t have to have that conversation until we’re back at Camelot.” Merlin shrugged. “The council will have to start thinking about a coronation, too, although, I think we need to talk about it before any plans are made.”

Arthur’s head snapped up. “Coronation?” He asked quietly. “Oh…”

“Yes. We need to talk about our… Arrangement…” He frowned, the word not feeling right. “Well, whatever, we need to talk about that first because of tradition, and that.”

“Yes, of course. Not tonight, though, Merlin. I’m too tired.”

“Of course, Sire.” Merlin nodded, and, having got the hint, fell silent as they finished their dinner.

After sitting by the fire for a while, Merlin washed up and packed everything away before making their beds for the night.

~~~~~~~

In the morning, Merlin packed everything up after breakfast, ready for another day of riding. He turned to Arthur, ready to tell him to mount his horse, when he found him, his face turned towards the sun, his eyes closed.

Something caught in Merlin’s throat, as he really saw Arthur for the first time, his face open. Merlin took a breath, his eyes scanning over Arthur’s face a body, really noticing how attractive the other man was, even if Merlin was still a little unsure about how their relationship was going to work, given his secrets.

Sighing, he moved his eyes down Arthur’s body again, only to be interrupted by Arthur clearing his throat.

“Merlin…” Arthur said, raising an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

“Um. Nothing, Sire.” He said quickly, turning away from Arthur to ‘busy’ himself with the horses. “I think we should leave now.”

Arthur smiled a little, a good sleep having done wonders for his sense of clarity. “You were… ogling me.” He said, tilting his head a little. “Weren’t you?”

“I would never dream of doing such a thing…” Merlin murmured, checking the straps on the bags. “We really ought to leave, if we’re going to make it back in good time.”

“Yes, Sir.” Arthur teased, saluting Merlin before walking to him. “Is everything ready?”

“Yes, Sire.” Merlin nodded, walking to his horse, mounting it.

Arthur rolled his eyes as he got on his horse. “Clot.” He murmured.

~~~~~~~

Just after dark fell that night, Arthur and Merlin reached Camelot, both feeling exhausted. Merlin jumped off his horse and helped Arthur off his. People had begun milling around the pair and Arthur kept his head down as Merlin led him into the castle, through the hallways and to his bedroom.

Once the door was shut, Arthur sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Merlin. “Thank you, Merlin. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Merlin shook his head. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m your servant. That’s what I’m here for.”

“You’re more than that, Merlin. For a start, you’re my friend. Please don’t play that down.”

“Thank you.” Merlin smiled softly. “You need to get some sleep, Sire. I’ll leave you to it.”

“No. Please don’t go. Not tonight. Could you stay? Sleep in my bed.”

Merlin swallowed thickly before nodding slowly. “Of course, Arthur.” He said, sitting beside Arthur with a soft smile. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, as always, I have no beta, so all mistakes are mine. If you spot anything, let me know.
> 
> I'm moving in a few weeks time, so I have no idea when Chapter 7 will be finished and up, but I'll try to do it soon!
> 
> -C

“Thank you, Merlin.” Arthur said, reaching down to pull his boots off. He stripped down to his tunic and loose trousers before laying down on the bed. “Will you join me?”

Merlin cleared his throat. “Yes, of course, Sire.” He nodded. “Sorry. My mind wandered off.” He added as he started to kick off his boots, ending up in his tunic and trousers.

“Call me Arthur.” He sighed. “If you and I are to bond, I’d like to think that you’d be able to call me by my name.”

“I just assumed that I needed to remain as your servant.” Merlin shrugged, moving to the other side of the bed.

“Yes, but, we are behind closed doors and I have just called you my friend.” Arthur replied, watching Merlin.

“Have you been considering our potential bond?” Merlin asked as he sat down.

Arthur shrugged. “A little while we were riding. You were right when you said that we need to talk before we plan the coronation.”

“I know it’s a lot to think about.” Merlin replied quietly as he laid down. “But, this is your decision. It’s about what you want to do.”

“I could do without that kind of pressure, Merlin.” Arthur groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. In fact, what he could really do without is the pressure of telling Merlin that they can’t bond because his body just isn’t right.

“I know, Arthur, but the people will want a coronation soon after the funeral. Not only so they have their king, but they’ll want something to celebrate after the mourning is over.”

“With no consideration for what I want.” He sighed, closing his eyes. “I would rather wait for a coronation. I need clarity about what is going to happen between you and I and I want to mourn for my father before I consider a celebration to officially make me king. The throne is mine, regardless of a fancy gathering.”

Merlin rolled on to his side, watching Arthur. “I know that. You know that. But, a ceremony will make the people happy and make the council happy. We don’t have to be bonded when you’re crowned, if you don’t want us to be. Yes, its tradition, but you’re the King, Arthur. It’s not as if you chose to become King before you were bonded.” Merlin frowned, looking away. “Unless you bond with Gwen.”

Arthur’s eyes shot open. “Gwen?!” He asked. “Are you being serious?”

“Well, why not? You’ve known her for years, she’s an Omega, she’s beautiful, she likes you, and she could put up with you.” Merlin shrugged. “Then you wouldn’t have to think about you and me. I could just carry on being your servant. It makes sense.”

“I’m not interested in bonding with Gwen.” Arthur replied, also rolling onto his side, his eyes meeting Merlin’s. “She’s a lovely lady, but I don’t want to bond with her. I am interested in bonding with you. I just have some…” Arthur trailed off with a frown. “Well, I have some personal issues that I need attempt to sort before we can get to a point where we can be intimate and bond.”

“So, we get the coronation done and ignore the tradition.” He shrugged. “I think the people will understand. They want a coronation soon. They want a new King. They won’t wait for us to sort out our personal issues.” Merlin nodded once. “What do you think?”

Arthur mulled it over for a few moments. “It could work. The people’s appetite for a coronation could mean that they won’t be as concerned about the lack of a bond.” He nodded. “You know, occasionally, you have good ideas.” He added with a small smile.

“Why thank you, Sire.” Merlin grinned. “I do try.”

“I did say ‘occasionally’, Merlin.” Arthur replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I’m hurt.” He huffed.

Arthur smiled, his eyes warm as he looked at Merlin. “Oh, and do me a favour.”

Merlin licked his lips, nodding.

“Never suggest that I bond with Gwen again.”

“Yes, Sire.” Merlin smiled.

~~~~~~~

Merlin hadn’t closed the curtains before they fell asleep, so as the sun started to rise, the bedroom was filled with bright, early morning sunlight. Within seconds of each other, Arthur and Merlin both started to wake, the light disturbing their sleep.

Arthur groaned, shifting a little, only to find Merlin pressed against him. “Merlin.” He hissed, shaking him. “Merlin, wake up.”

“Shh.” Merlin breathed, still half asleep. He sniffled a little, rolling onto his side, pressing closer to Arthur, his morning erection pushed into the new king’s side.

“Merlin!” Arthur said, pushing him away.

“Nng, what?” He sighed, rubbing his eyes, trying to resist yawning.

“Your erection is pressed into my leg, Merlin.”

Merlin quickly moved back. “I’m sorry.” He said, scrambling off the bed, grabbing his boots and jacket. “I’m sorry. This is… Oh…” He took a deep breath, his mind racing. Arthur must know. He must have felt it all and realised that it was too big.

Arthur sat up, pulling his legs up to his chest. “We need to talk.”

“It’s…” Merlin swallowed thickly, pulling his boots on. “It’s not what you think. It’s not what you think at all.”

“It’s possibly the largest penis belonging to an Omega that medicine has ever known.” Arthur replied, watching Merlin.

Merlin nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s it. That’s exactly it.”

Arthur took a deep breath, trying to keep his anger in check – it wasn’t like he could say anything at all about lying. “Merlin. I’m not an idiot.” He sighed. “I know that’s not what it is.”

“It is.” He nodded, a blush creeping up his neck, spreading over his cheeks. “That’s all it is.”

He took a deep breath, trying to form the sentence in his head before he said it. “You…” Arthur trailed off, frowning a little. “Hm. You’re not really who you say you are, are you, Merlin?” He asked quietly, not giving Merlin a chance to reply before talking again. “You’re an Alpha, aren’t you?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> This chapter didn't seem to want a middle! Sorry it took so long to get this up, but what with moving and everything, my life has been a bit up in the air. I'm going to work on the next chapter as soon as I can!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> C x

“Um.” Merlin blushed, lowering his head. “I need to go.” He said after a moment. “Gaius will be wondering where I am.” He said with a nod, turning to leave.

“I don’t think so, Merlin.” Arthur said quickly, jumping up, moving to block the door. “We’re talking. Gaius will understand that we have things to talk about. Namely, you being an Alpha.”

“I’m not an Alpha.”

“I think we both know that you are.”

Merlin let out a breath and averted his eyes. “Just let me go, Arthur. I have things to do.”

“I’m not going to let you run away, Merlin.” Arthur replied flatly.

“I’m not your mate, Arthur. You can’t tell me what to do.” He said, finally looking up to meet his eye.

“Perhaps not, but I’m your king and we need to talk.” He said firmly, raising an eyebrow, challenging Merlin to keep pushing him.

Merlin stared at him for a few moments before letting out a breath, moving away from the door, going to the table, slumping down in one of the chairs. “Talk then, Arthur, because I haven’t got much to say to you.”

Arthur watched Merlin walk away from him. “Why have you been lying to me?” He leaned against the wall, not particularly wanting to be too close to Merlin anymore.

“I haven’t….” He sighed, running his hand through his hair, his eyes fixed on the table. “Everyone just assumes. I cover my scent and I have something to supress my instincts.” Technically, that was another lie, as well. He hated himself for lying to Arthur, but he couldn’t tell Arthur that he hides his biology with magic. That’s the sort of thing that would lead to him being hanged.

Arthur fell silent, warring with himself in his mind. He wanted to be angry with Merlin for lying to him, but he was just as bad as him – doing exactly the same thing, although, probably for very different reasons. He licked his lips and nodded, asking the only question that he could think of. “Why?”

Merlin shrugged. “I wasn’t happy. Being an Alpha wasn’t making me happy. Ealdor wasn’t making me very happy.” He replied. “I wanted a fresh start. I left Ealdor and hoped for a fresh start. People always thought it was weird, given that I don’t exactly look like an Alpha.” He paused, frowning a bit. “Some children in the village laughed and I thought if I came to Camelot, it’d stop being an issue. And then, suddenly, I’m your Omega.”

He nodded, listening to Merlin, completely understanding exactly what he was saying. It was for similar reasons that Arthur had spent most of his life pretending to be someone he wasn’t. “I won’t make you leave.” He replied eventually. “I can’t make you leave.”

Merlin frowned. “I have to leave. I’ve lied to you. We’re two Alphas, we can’t mate. I’m useless to you and you need to find another mate. A real Omega. Besides, people will find out. I’ll be driven out if I don’t leave. We can just say that it didn’t work out between us. It happens. People will understand.”

“No one will find out, Merlin.” Arthur sighed. “I’m not going to tell anyone. I have nothing to gain from telling anyone, do I?”

Merlin shrugged. “I bet you think it’s funny. I bet the whole castle will think this is funny. Merlin’s an Alpha. Hilarious.” He pushed himself up from the chair. “I’m going now.”

“Merlin. No.” He said firmly, stepping in front of the door again. “I haven’t finished talking.”

“I have.”

“There’s something you need to know.” He replied, still blocking the door. “Before you decide that you really want to leave.”

“And what’s that? That you don’t care? That we can just pretend this never happened?”

Arthur sighed, rolling his eyes. “Drop the attitude Merlin and hear me out.”

“I don’t have time for this, Arthur.” Merlin pushed Arthur aside roughly and walked out of the door, heading to his and Gaius’ chambers, ignoring Arthur’s shouts after him.

He also ignored Gaius when he got back, just moving into his chamber, slamming the door shut. Looking around the room, Merlin sighed, starting to pack his things up – a task that he didn’t particularly want to do. It didn’t take long, given that he didn’t have too many possessions and he wasn’t too attached to the things he did have.

Picking up the small pack of his belongings and the book that Gaius had given him upon his arrival in Camelot, he opened the door.

“Gaius.” He said carefully, watching the physician raise his head to look at him. “I can’t take this from you.” Merlin said, approaching him, the book held out in front of him.  “Thank you for letting me learn from it.” He placed it on the table, smiling sadly.

“Are you leaving?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I have to.” Merlin nodded. “I’m going back to Ealdor.”

Gaius frowned. “What’s happened to make you change your mind about staying in Camelot? I thought you were happy here.”

“I am. I was.” He shrugged. “Things have changed. It’s better if I leave now.”

“Don’t you think you’re being too rash about this?” He asked. “You’ve not been back in Camelot long. I know this is a testing time, what with Uther’s death. Arthur will need you.”

Merlin looked at the floor, shaking his head a little. “I’m sorry Gaius, but I have to.”

Gaius pressed his lips together. “I had hoped that nothing would drive you from Camelot.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Gaius.” Merlin replied instantly. “I’ll miss Camelot, but this is something I need to do.”

He watched Merlin for a few moments before lowering his head. “Take the book.” He said, glancing to it. “I think you need it more than I do.”

“I can’t, Gaius. I can’t take it from you.” He shook his head. “I’m grateful to have learned from it, but I can’t do that.” Merlin walked towards Gaius, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you.” He murmured, pulling away after a moment. He moved to collect his possessions, putting the bag over his shoulder. “If you’re ever in Ealdor, I’m sure my mother would love to see you.” He smiled a little, before walking to the door, slipping out without another word.

In the hallway, he took a deep breath, deciding that he didn’t have time to say goodbye to Gwen, or the Knights, knowing that they’d just try to make him stay. He needed to go, and he needed to go now.

He headed out to the horses, knowing that he’d have less chance of being caught any time soon if he took a horse, even if his tracks would be more obvious, he could move quicker.

After making sure that his small bag was secure, he mounted the horse, leading it out of the stables and towards the castle walls.  He took a deep breath, refusing to let himself turn and look at the castle when he heard a shout.

“Merlin!”

Of course he recognised that voice. Of course he did. He kept his head down, continuing on his path out of the castle.

“Merlin! Don’t you dare leave!”

Glancing over his shoulder, Merlin saw Arthur running towards him. Taking a deep breath, Merlin pulled the horse to a stop.

“Where are you going?” Arthur asked as he reached Merlin.

“Back to Ealdor. I can’t stay here.” He replied quietly, avoiding Arthur’s eye.

“Yes you can. Of course you can. You don’t need to run away.”

“Arthur.” Merlin sighed, shaking his head. “Of course I do. People will find out. It’s better for both of us if I just leave quietly. I don’t want a fuss. Which is why I didn’t tell you.”

“No.” He replied quietly, thinking for a moment. “No. This isn’t right. Merlin. Do you want to mate with me? If you _were_ an Omega and we could, would you?”

Merlin frowned, his brow furrowing. “But we can’t.”

“Listen to me, idiot. Just go with this. If we could. If we were a normal Omega and Alpha pair, would you?”

“I…” He took a breath, shrugging. “Yes. Yes, I suppose I would. If we could.”

Arthur tried to hold back the smile that was threatening to break out. “Good. Then I have something to tell you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry this has taken me months and months to finish! I promise I haven't forgotten about this fic at all, I just lost my mojo and got caught up with uni work. I hope this is worth the wait!
> 
> If there's any mistakes, please let me know so I can fix them!
> 
> -C

“Arthur!” Merlin shouted as he ran after the king. “Arthur, you can’t say something like that and walk away!”

“Then follow, idiot.” Arthur smiled, walking back towards his the castle, heading for his chambers.

Arthur walked through the castle with a small smile on his face Merlin following close behind. He was starting to get excited that he could get his secret off his chest. When they reached Arthur’s chambers, Merlin frowned.

“Arthur, I need to get going soon if I’m going to get a good distance before nightfall.” He said, following Arthur into his chambers.

“Just give me five minutes, okay? You can wait five minutes.” Arthur sighed, locking the door. The last thing they needed was an interruption during this conversation. “Sit down, Merlin.” He said, gesturing towards the table, where he took a seat a few moments later, after Merlin.

Merlin sighed, looking at Arthur, nodding. “Okay. Five minutes.”

Arthur took a breath, trying to form the sentences in his head before he said them out loud. It had to make sense.

“You can decide what you want to do, Merlin. I won’t try to change your mind, but I need you to listen to what I’ve got to say with… with an open mind.” He nodded. “It’s also really important that what I say is kept between us until I or… or we decide otherwise. Does that make sense?”

Merlin nodded. “Yes, Sire. I have to keep my mouth shut about this. I’ve got it.”

“Right. Good.” Arthur tapped his fingers on the wood of the table, staring towards the window. “Okay. When you come from a family like mine, there’s certain expectations. You know about that. But, it extends to things that you can’t help, too.” He frowned a little, unable to look at Merlin. “My father wanted, or rather, needed me to be an Alpha. It makes everything easier. Ruling a kingdom is easier as an Alpha. The people will listen to an Alpha, but they would never take orders or listen to laws from an Omega.”

Merlin wet his lips, trying to follow where Arthur was going with this. “Right…” He murmured.

“Yes. So… When I became of age, I decided to take matters in to my own hands. I didn’t want my father to be disappointed and push me out of the kingdom, so I pretended. Gaius helped with that. I went to him when I presented and explained that it was wrong that I was the way I was and that I needed help to hide.”

“So… What you’re saying…” Merlin frowned, running his hand through his hair. “Sorry, what are you saying?” He sighed.

“I presented as an Omega.” Arthur said after a small pause. “When I was a young teenager. It… It was wrong. I was wrong. I needed to be an Alpha, so I just pretended that I was. I’m still pretending that I am. It was easy to do, too. Far easier than I thought it might have been. My father was spending more and more time on his duties and less time paying attention to me, if it wasn’t for training or during visits.” He fell silent, still staring across the room. “But that’s the point, Merlin. It could work. We could work. We… It wouldn’t work because biologically we weren’t compatible, but we are. All I have to do is stop taking the tonic that Gaius gives me and we’ll be okay.”

Merlin looked at Arthur, his mouth hanging open as his brain tried to catch up with what Arthur had told him. “So… You’re… Hm.” He cleared his throat, a frown appearing on his face. “How? How? You’re… Everything about you is Alpha… Maybe you just got it wrong. You must just be mistaken…” He trailed off, falling silent for several minutes, carefully going through everything in his mind. “Hang on. Gaius knows? Who else knows?”

“No one. Gaius only knows because I needed him for the tonic.” He replied quietly.

“Okay.” He said, pressing his lips together. “Okay. Just me and Gaius.”

“You can still leave Camelot, if that’s what you want. I just thought you should know the truth. It gives us a chance to be together if that’s what you want.” Arthur looked at Merlin before he got to his feet, his heart rate picking up as he waited for Merlin to speak.

Merlin looked blankly at Arthur, his brain racing to catch up with what the king had said. “You…” He shook his head, finding that he had started speaking even though he didn’t know what it was that he wanted to say.

“You can go, if you like.” He said quietly, moving away from the table and towards the window. “You can either go back to Ealdor, or your chambers, if you want to think. You’re under no obligation to stay here, Merlin.” With his back to Merlin, Arthur couldn’t tell what Merlin was doing, which he reasoned was for the best as he wasn’t sure that he could handle seeing him leave.

“Arthur…” Merlin said softly, making Arthur jump.

He turned around, shocked to see Merlin standing a few feet away from him. “Oh. I thought you were going to—“

“ _Arthur._ ” Merlin cut in, reaching out for him. “You’re panicking. Stop it. Look at me.”

Arthur took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, looking at Merlin a moment later. “I’m not panicking. I don’t panic.”

“Yes, you do.” Merlin replied, cocking his head. “I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve seen you panic. You have tells. I can see it right now.”

“I just… This is a big decision, Merlin. What happens now will change our lives and that’s something to be nervous about. It’s something that’s outside of my control; I have no power over the outcome and that’s not a feeling I’m used to.”

Merlin smiled a little at Arthur. It made such a change to see him a little out of his depth. It really was a rare sight and not one that Merlin was going to forget in a hurry.

“Stop smiling, you idiot, this is not time for smiling.” Arthur huffed.

“I can’t help it. It’s just…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “You’re so wrapped up in this. It’s really not as important as you think. If I say no, there are a million Alphas who would jump at the chance to bond with you. No one is going to think any less of you when you tell them who you really are.” Merlin took a small step towards him, his heart thudding against his ribcage. “If I say yes, well… Not much will change. Either way, you’re going to be a wonderful king.”

“I won’t tell them who I really am.” Arthur sighed. “Certainly not for a while, at least. Potentially never if you say no. It’s not an important fact if I have no partner.” He concluded with a shrug.

“No one wants a king who lies, Arthur. Imagine if it came out that you’re not who you say you are. They’re all going to start wondering about what else you’ve been lying about. That’s going to start to be the end of you and that’s just not how you’re meant to be a king!”

“Said the man with no trace of royal blood in him.” Arthur muttered.

“It’s not about royal blood, Arthur, its common sense.” Merlin replied, keeping his eyes trained on Arthur. “I think the fact that I’m not royal means that it makes more sense to me. I can see it exactly how you people might. It’s a positive.”

Arthur fell silent, his thoughts running through his mind at a pace that he couldn’t keep up with. It was too much. Everything felt too much. He needed to know what Merlin was going to do and then he could work out what he’d do as a result. Nodding, he looked at Merlin. “Are you going to accept the offer to bond or not?” He asked quietly, managing to keep his voice steady.

“Let me think about it. Give me a little while to go back to my chambers and think about it. This is a lot to take in. Too much for me to take in right now.” Merlin replied, shaking his head. “I need time, Arthur. You can’t just expect me to give you an answer this soon.” He added, moving away from the king. “I’ll stay in Camelot. I’ll probably spend a couple of days with Gaius, collecting herbs and the like… Organising my thoughts. If you need me, you’ll be able to find me.”

“Right, yes, of course.” Arthur nodded, trying not to let his disappointment show on his face. Of course, he understood that Merlin would need more time, but in his mind he’d been hoping that he’d be able to give him an answer straight away. “Take as much time as you need. If I need you, I’ll send someone to check if I can see you. I won’t bother you until you’re ready to talk. I’m sure you’ll be able to find me when you’ve made your decision.”

Merlin nodded slowly, wetting his lips. “Thank you, Arthur. I’ll see you in a few days.”


End file.
